I’VE JUST celebrated my 39th dance around the sun and I’ve made the most of it. I’m feeling good about being 39 and all that goes with it. I have never liked hearing people dread their birthdays as they get older; I think that all ages have something different to offer. Here are some garbled musings on life from a 39 year old mind which is likely to change its thoughts as quickly as it has formed them …

I can no longer eat and drink what I want and it have no effect on my body. Lots of opposing emotions about the same situation can live equally side by side. I hate looking at other peoples holiday photos. I’m so glad I never have to be pregnant again. I miss the camaraderie and structure of having a job. I find it easier to make friends the older I get. There is something to be said about a good cheeseboard. For the first time in my life, I prefer flat shoes. I own a backpack and I find this troubling even though it’s super useful. I am more excited about quality coffee than most things. I see my dog as human and love her like a child. I was under the impression that having a newborn baby was the hardest part of parenting but now it’s dawning on me that it’s just going to get more complicated. Friendships need nurturing in the good times so they will flourish in the bad. I have lots of regrets and I don’t see that as a negative, they are important to see future decisions clearer. I wish I still didn’t bite my nails but I have no idea how to stop.

Love is the strangest beast I’ve met. The heart is capable of expanding more than you think. Everything will keep changing until the day you die. I genuinely don’t understand why I can never find my diary. I am as petulant as I was as a child when I want my bed and I’m miles from home. I find myself talking about the quality of foods in different supermarkets. I will get through this time in my life and although there will be the darkest of days, I will thrive, not just survive.

Disclaimer: I am allowed to change my mind about any of these things even as early as tomorrow.

* Stacey Heale has left her career as a fashion lecturer to focus on her two lively little girls and husband, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme.com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog, www.beneaththeweather.com