MY PARENTS went on holiday to Malta last week and while they were only gone for four days, I felt like I had my arm cut off. They are a linchpin in my daily survival, whether that's my dad handing me a bottle of beer as I turn up at their house after a difficult day or my mum snuggling up with me on the sofa to have a snooze because she knows I’ve only had a few hours after the Tiny Maniacs Gang have had another night time party at my expense.
They are both there for my family in every practical way possible but my mum in particular is my emotional anchor.
Madge has sat with me through the very darkest of days and given me the most precious gift; presence without trying to appease or fix anything. She listens and lets me expel all my demons in a safe space where I don’t feel judged and can say anything. I know I don’t have to dilute any of my fears around her. She is the most emotionally strong, practical and sensible person I know and I lucked out big time being her daughter. It’s annoying that I didn’t get any of her organisation skills or her tidiness genes but what she has taught me is resilience; that you can break down in tears and be a rock all at the same time. Madge taught me a long time ago that I have a fire burning inside me that cannot be put out, no matter what hurricanes are blowing. She is my biggest cheerleader.
I can’t imagine what it must feel like as a mother to watch your child go through such hard times, to feel so helpless when your instinct is to make everything better. Whatever pain she feels, Madge shows up for me again and again regardless. I genuinely do not know how I would pick myself up from the floor without her.
It’s also important to say that she has criminal taste in music, makes the worst tea imaginable, the click in her jaw when she eats makes me want to put my fist through a wall, drives past a thousand parking spaces before picking one but Madge is just the best egg in the box.
Thank you for being the best role model a girl could have. I love you, Madgington Bear.
* Stacey Heale has left her career as a fashion lecturer to focus on her two lively little girls and husband, Delays frontman Greg Gilbert, who was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in November 2016. She launched the viral campaign Give4Greg to raise funds for lifesaving treatment: gofundme.com/give4greg. You can read more at her blog, www.beneaththeweather.com
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