COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND’S COLLEAGUE - NOW I THINK I’M PREGNANT

How soon into a pregnancy can you find out who the father is? Over Christmas, at an office party, I had a fling with one of my husband’s staff. It was stupid, boozy and out of character. Both he and I have avoided one another since.

ALSO READ: Agony advice - is husband having an affair?

The worst thing is, my husband and I have been trying for a child for some time without success. Now I have just missed a period - and I am really worried I am pregnant with this man’s child My husband would be over the moon, but I am sure he would be devastated if he ever found out it wasn’t his.

I’ve been really stupid, but I don’t know if I could live with the secret of pretending to my husband that it is his child. What on earth do I do? My husband owns the company and it could be awkward.

FIONA SAYS: THERE IS A LOT TO CONSIDER HERE

You need to establish whether or not you are pregnant. If you do turn out to be pregnant, that’s when you have to decide what to do next.

A non-invasive prenatal paternity test (known as a NIPP) can be taken from the seventh week of pregnancy. It involves a blood sample from the mother and a cheek swab from the father. How you are going to get your husband to give a cheek swab without telling him what happened at the party, I really don’t know. You could, alternatively, ask the other potential father - which means admitting your possible pregnancy to him as well.

Assuming you are pregnant and decide to go ahead with having the baby, then you are going to need to tell your husband. That is going to be hard on you both and it may be very destructive for your relationship.

SHOULD I ASK MY STEP-DAUGHTER TO BE A BRIDESMAID?

The man I am about to marry has a daughter with his first wife. Their divorce was difficult, and his ex-wife has always she made it very hard for him to see the child. He and I plan to marry in the summer, and it will be a white wedding with my two sisters as bridesmaids. My fiance’s mother insists we should ask his daughter to be a bridesmaid as well and says she won’t come to the wedding unless this happens.

FIONA SAYS: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT BONDING OPPORTUNITY

I can understand why you don’t like the idea of being given ultimatums by your mother-in-law-to-be, but stop for one moment and think about this little girl. The one who is about to become your stepdaughter. Lots of little girls get very excited at the idea of being a bridesmaid, and I’m sure your fiance’s daughter is no different.

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