A bully who destroyed the life of his ex-girlfriend in a relentless campaign of abuse pushed her to thoughts of suicide.

Lance Cole, 35, regularly threatened his victim, belittled her, and even spiked her drink with a sleeping pill over the course of a tempestuous relationship.

He also checked her phone and damaged her car and her parents’ property.

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The pair formed a romantic relationship in the summer of 2023 after knowing each other for nearly 20 years.

But the “fun and uplifting” relationship quickly soured, prosecutor Keely Harvey told Southampton Crown Court.

The court heard how over the course of seven months, Cole regularly threatened his victim and was often violent in front of her.

On one occasion he wrapped a robe tie around his neck and attached it to the door, telling the victim he was going to end his life.

He also punched her wing mirror as he spewed abuse, before snapping the gearstick in her vehicle.

Ms Harvey said: “He refused to get out of her vehicle, so she drove him home and started to pack up her things.

“The victim started to grab her bag to leave but he snatched it, causing her to fall back onto the sofa and injure herself.“Later that same day a heated argument started, and the defendant threw a glass at the wall.”

Cole was known to bombard his victim with phone calls and messages if she was not with him, or he did not know where she was.

After spending the night with her family after Christmas, the victim woke up to 21 missed calls and 15 messages from Cole.

It was in January of this year the victim decided she finally had enough and left him.

Appearing in court, she tearfully described the catastrophic impact Cole has had on her life.

“He betrayed my trust on every level, and I suffered at his hands”, she said.

She told the court how she used to be confident in herself and had “a simple life” that meant the world to her.

She said: “I begged him to treat me better.

“In December 2023 I felt I had reached my breaking point. I wrote down my goodbyes in letters and I knew how I wanted to end my life.

“I didn’t see a way out and felt broken.

“It makes my blood run cold when I think of what he has done to me. It has been 205 days since I last saw him, and I am plagued with worry.

“He destroyed my life.”

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Cole, of Wren Court, Nursling, pleaded guilty to one count of engaging in controlling and coercive behaviour, and one count of intimidating a witness.

He was found guilty of harassment without violence by a jury at Southampton Magistrates’ Court earlier this year.

Mitigating, Lucy Conroy said he has shown some “good reflection” on his actions while in custody at HMP Winchester.

Passing sentence, Judge Peter Henry described his actions as “manipulative”.

“It is obvious that your conduct has had a considerable impact upon the victim, what you did was thoughtless and unpleasant”, he said.

Cole was handed a prison sentence of three years and four months.

  • Anyone struggling with mental health or having suicidal thoughts can seek help from charities such as the Samaritans - call 116 123