NINE-year-old Shane Castle is set to become the youngest Chandler’s Ford £1,000 Under-21 Roll-Up champion.

An astonishing feat considering he was once the ‘easy draw’, the club’s whipping boy. But can anything stop Shane’s march to glory?

It is possible:

1, Hampshire golden girl Suzie Opacic can’t live another day without one of her beloved whales by her side and brings one home as a pet. Unfortunately, it fancies a tasty morsel before dinner and slaps the pint-sized potter between two slices of bread.

2, Unflappable club-boss Kim Everett sells the tables and sets up a centre of excellence in flower arranging. Sadly, Shane can’t pot a geranium.

3, Ollie ‘Waveman’ Tydeman manages to convince the whole club to join his ‘I hate handicap snooker’ campaign and Shane donates all his points to the cause.

4, Hearing that a good friend of Captain Scarlet was hiding in the club, The Mysterons vaporize South Hampshire unaware that ‘Dan Dare’ Hildyard was playing at an EASB tournament in Birmingham.

5, After a six-mouth investigation, The Health and Safety Executive decree that there are three UK-based accidents every year by nine-year-old boys climbing stairs in snooker clubs. Jim is forced to carry out a risk analysis and Shane is banned. Attempts by retired club-owner Ken Everett to carry a table downstairs and install it in the car park for the last two competitions, result in four injuries. The HSE declare accident-blackspot Chandler’s Ford a ‘no go’ area and set up road blocks.

Well done Shane.