BEING taken for granted is often a complaint as relationships progress.

But sometimes a bit of taking for granted can be a good thing.

For instance, last night when my boyfriend cooked me dinner it didn’t occur to me until he mentioned that he’d checked all the ingredients and it was definitely free of all animal ingredients (I’m vegan) that it might not be.

In the early days this is something that would have bothered me. I’d have been sneakily reading the back of the packets to make sure that there was nothing I couldn’t eat lurking in there and watching for cross-contamination of knives if he was making something vegan for me and carnivorous for himself at the same time.

But now I take it for granted that he’ll make sure I can eat whatever it is that he’s preparing.

It’s a small example but it’s one of those everyday changes that happens as a relationship develops.

There’s a generally unspoken agreement that you’ll take care of each other and make an effort for each other as a matter of course.

My friend Dave has noticed a similar adjustment in his relationship of five months. He says: “As I share a house we spend more time at her flat and she chucks my washing in with hers if I leave it at her place.“In return I cook quite a bit and have pretty much changed my cooking habits completely when she’s about, as I love strong flavours like ginger and garlic, but they aren’t her thing at all. “Bizarrely I think she asks me to change plugs, move heavy stuff around in the loft etc because she thinks I like proving my man skills, rather than because she can’t!” However, another friend, May, doesn’t share my feelings about the positives of being taken for granted.

She says: “There are certain things that we are able to take for granted, for example, if my partner is short of cash he knows that he can borrow some from me until he can get to the bank. Such things aside, we tend not to take things for granted, even in a positive way. So, when a heavy job needs doing, which I am unable to do on my own, for example, erecting some fencing, I don’t assume that my partner will be ready to undertake it; rather I discuss it with him first to find out whether he feels able to tackle it. I think that I like it better this way; it means that, routine household tasks apart, we remain appreciative of the support we give each other.”

For my own part, I think there is a certain degree of romance in being able to take things for granted. It’s comforting knowing that there’s someone you can turn to for help or who will do you a favour without a big fanfare – just as long as you remember to always say ‘thank you’.