SOUTHAMPTON’S top snooker players are today up in arms after secret plans to introduce a shot clock into Premier matches were accidentally uploaded onto the league’s own website.

Officials from the Southampton & District Social Clubs League were left red-faced as the controversial proposals were viewed by thousands earlier this morning.

However, the minutes from a behind-closed-doors meeting at St Denys & Bitterne Park Conservative Club last month reveal the management committee is not concerned about how LONG matches are but how SHORT they are.

Next season, players will be forced to wait a minimum of 30 seconds between each shot.

A well-placed source said: “Snooker is dead. We must act now. Just look at this season’s facts and figures - over 100 half-centuries and Mike Finn knocking in centuries for fun.

“We must get back to basics. I remember the glory days of snooker when a best-of-three would last all evening and each shot was debated at great length. Now, that’s real snooker!”

It is believed this year’s Town Championship final, where Finn beat Andy Kane 4-0, brought an angry response from committee members.

One, who did not wish to be named, stormed: “That match should have lasted until gone midnight. And what’s all this nonsense about an interval after three frames? I want to see an interval DURING each frame.”

The committee also discussed other proposals to lengthen matches:

1, Former Town Champions must play left-handed.

2, A player making a century must wear lead weights around his ankles for the next three matches.

3, Shane Castle to be taught cribbage.

4, Mike Finn to be issued with a blindfold.

After a protracted debate, a new ‘low break’ award was rejected as unworkable.