I AM constantly astounded by the rate at which my little darling picks stuff up. He just doesn’t miss a trick. While I might think that my constant nagging and moaning is falling on deaf ears, that is in fact far from the truth.

I thought the fact that he just sat there seemingly unresponsive to my requests for action and then subsequent threats meant he simply wasn’t taking it in.

No matter what I threatened, short of physical harm, he seemed unmoved. The with-holding of chocolate treats, counting to three and the really serious ‘mummy’s going to get cross with Ben’ doesn’t seem to phase him.

In fact, to give him his due, he has perfected the “bring it on” look. I really don’t understand his defiant stance as it always turns out the same way. He refuses, I threaten, he digs his size six heels in, I do indeed turn into angry mum, he is reduced to tears when threat is carried out and then spends the next ten minutes with his bottom lip hanging out saying “I am weally sowy about that.”

So predictable you think the boy would learn – but nooooooo!

Anyway, in the car the other morning, we’d already had the usual song and dance (without the singing and the dancing – more tears and foot stamping) about getting into the vehicle pronto. And then he started requesting cereal.

How he thought I was going to pull out a bowl of Shreddies complete with milk while at the wheel of my car was beyond me.

I did try and explain why this was a physical impossibility but I was just met with the same request. And so this continued back and forth for a while until he finally seemed to grasp that it wasn’t going to happen. Then he thought he’d play his trump card of “Ben’s going to get cross with Mummy”. It was a good job we were stationary at that point as I momentarily lost control of my senses. I was dumbfounded and couldn’t muster a response for love nor money. Shortly afterwards I dissolved into a laughing fit at his sheer cheek, which probably won’t bode well for the next time mummy gets tough.