WHAT with all the fuss over the Bond franchise, and the fact that the ageing Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis are keeping us in suspense over the next Indiana Jones film and Die Hard 4.0 respectively, the world is in dire need of an action hero.

Step forward Dirk Pitt - and stop sniggering you at the back. The producers of this film would like us to believe that "adventure has a new name", but if I were adventure, I'd have picked anything but Dirk.

Sahara is based on the book of the same name by Clive Cussler, which I freely admit never having heard of. But I assume it must be the sort of book that my dad carts off to read in the bath on a Saturday night, full of ancient treasure, desert mysteries and a good old chase now, again and every when.

As such, it's not a serious Booker prize contender, and if you approach your viewing of the film with this in mind, you shouldn't be in any sort of a stew when it all starts to get just a leetle bit ridiculous.

Replacing original star Hugh Jackman, whose involvement was postponed due to 9/11, is Matthew McConaughey, as marine adventurer Pitt.

When we initially meet him, buffed and bronzed, he's gallivanting around Africa finding lost relics with his mate Al (Steve Zahn), consumed by one particular myth, that of an iron ship which disappeared at the end of the American Civil War.

Meanwhile, on the same continent, foxy doc Eva (Penelope Cruz), working for the World Health Organisation, is concerned about an outbreak of what seems like a plague.

Worried that it might be spreading, she's determined to investigate, despite being attacked by some nasty men.

Rescued by Dirk, the two discover that they're heading to the same area of Mali, and that's where I simply give up the will to explain.

The rest of the film involves not only an evil dictator named General Kazim (very Bond-esque), nuclear waste and a solar powerplant plot, but somehow camels, machine guns, explosions, water, desert treks, cannons, cave paintings and conspiracy plots all end up thrown into the crazy mix too.

There's simply far too much going on, and even worse, what is actually happening is completely and utterly unbelievable.

Fair enough, I'm not sure I was ever totally convinced by the man who pulled hearts out in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, but it made sense at the time.

This doesn't, and just when you think it's gone as far down fairytale lane as it can, out comes the massive windsurf/boat on wheels that Pitt makes from totally useless plane wreckage.

Despite all this, and the total lack of chemistry between Cruz and McConaughey, I enjoyed it all.

The presence of William H. Macy doesn't hurt, and Zahn is always adorable, which more than compensates for McConaughey's performance.