FLIGHT of the Phoenix will never be shown on an aeroplane, that's for sure.

It boasts an almighty mother of a crash in the desert which would have even the most seasoned air traveller shaking in his surgical circulatory stockings.

This strange film, which is very reminiscent of The English Patient in moments due to the similar aerial photography and sandstorms, updates the 1965 movie of the same name, starring James Stewart and Richard Attenborough.

But what a difference 40 years make. And so we must be content with Dennis Quaid (pictured), still invigorated and enjoying his second bite of the career cherry, plus a bunch of other complete randoms, including Hugh Laurie, Mirando Otto from The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the rapper Sticky Fingaz instead.

Quaid plays pilot Frank Towns, who arrives to take the workers on a desert rig in Mongolia back home.

When they then run into a very nasty sandstorm and crash dramatically into the middle of the Gobi Desert, tensions mount as the survivors debate what their next move should be.

When mysterious passenger Elliott (a peroxide blonde Giovanni Ribisi) comes up with a plan to rebuild the hulk of the wreckage into a new plane, things should be looking up - but the water is slowly running out, and the group have still got the weather and desert bandits to contend with.

Flight should be as good a survival yarn as Alive - with a reverse climate, of course - but instead it turns out to be a rather mixed kettle of fish.

While the performances are all fine, the script and direction are not, leaving the actors with no option but to play to their limited roles. Let's face it, it wasn't revolutionary casting to have the Scot as the temperamental one and Laurie as a stuffed-shirt Englishman.

A horrible soundtrack and some truly weird moments - a montage accompanied by Outkast's Hey Ya - add up to a truly bizarre whole.

This crashed and burned at the US box office - and, by this evidence, it deserved to.