NINE years ago, Mark Barham found out he was HIV positive. Then working as bar manager at a London arts centre, one of the first people he told was his boss.

Knowing him to be gay, he had hoped for a sympathetic and understanding ear.

But just three weeks later, Mark was fired.

His boss claimed his work was sloppy - but he had never had a single complaint before.

Mark was in no doubt of the real reason for his dismissal.

He sought advice from the Terrence Higgins Trust and successfully took legal action against his former employer.

Now 33, Mark says his sacking was the only time he has experienced real prejudice about his condition.

He is all too aware of the social stigma associated with HIV and AIDS, but, unlike Chris Smith MP, has not kept things a secret.

"I am out to everybody," said Mark, who lives in a flat in Portswood, Southampton.

"All my friends have been great. My mum and dad know all about it but don't mention it.

"Sometimes it is the fear of what people will think more than anything. I have had great support from everyone, although I know other people in the same boat who have felt isolated and alone."

He added: "The thing I find most difficult is knowing how and when to tell a new partner that I have HIV."

Mark knows exactly when he contracted HIV. It was during a brief affair in 1996.

At the time his sister, to whom he was very close, had been killed in the Philippines.

Mark admits he went 'a bit off the rails' and the fling was part of it.

The man he had unprotected sex with knew he had AIDS, but chose not to tell Mark until the morning after.

Nowadays, Mark is philosophical about what happened.

"There was no point in thinking about revenge or anything, because by then the deed was done," he said.

"I went to get tested and had to wait three months for the result.

"I took a friend with me when I went back as I knew it was going to be positive. I remember saying 'Oh well. What can I do now?'

"The person I got it from died a year later. I didn't go to the funeral, although I was invited."

Determined not to let HIV overshadow his life, Mark, who has been in the bar and catering trade for the past 17 years, has continued working.

He is currently in training for a half-marathon to raise money for The Ribbons Centre in Southampton, where he volunteers. The centre, which provides support and information for anyone affected by HIV and AIDS, has been a godsend for Mark.

He became involved after sending an e-mail to the centre's co-ordinator, Ginny Cranshaw, having seen an advert in one of Southampton's gay pubs.

Last October, Mark trained as a volunteer and now helps out twice a week, cooking meals for everyone as well as offering help and support.

"HIV is normal here at the centre," he said. "You can be yourself. It has helped me enormously.

"If anyone needs to talk, there is a friendly voice at the end of the phone. There is no pressure to come in or anything - you can just have a chat."

Mark will run the Sussex Beacon half marathon in Brighton on Sunday, February 20, in aid of the Ribbons Centre.

To sponsor him, telephone 023 8022 5511.

THE RIBBONS CENTRE:

Discreetly located in the heart of Southampton, The Ribbons Centre is a support and information centre for people whose lives have been affected by HIV or AIDS.

The centre, which opened in January 2000, was set up in memory of and named after a Southampton woman who died from an AIDS related condition in 1995.

Designed to be relaxed and friendly, it is open to people living across southern Hampshire, including Southampton, Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight. Currently, there are 170 registered users.

Services offered include peer support, information about treatment options, advocacy, information about housing and benefits, resources library, a women's group, counselling, internet access, IT training and social events.

The centre opens on a drop-in basis on Tuesday evenings and Thursdays during the day, but is also open by appointment on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Friday mornings.

It is currently recruiting for more volunteers to help with anything from fundraising and publicity to admin, IT and catering.

Call 023 8022 5511 for more information.