UNSUNG HEROES

JILL has been at the end of the phone for the past 20 years or so. She listens as distraught callers detail their lives and the problems that have led them to pick up the phone.

Most are lonely. Quite literally driven to call her because no one else seems to care.

Jill is a Samaritan and during the past two decades she has heard all manner of things.

The public speaker and Southampton blue badge guide explained: "I have listened as people have told me about all sorts of things. Sometimes what they have to say is quite shocking but I have to remain impassive."

Traditionally, Christmas is the time when more people than ever resort to calling the Samaritans - and as they celebrate their 40th year in the city, this December looks set to be as busy as ever.

"The busiest time of the day for calls is from midnight to 2am and then it starts to trail off.

"Every year we get 30,000 calls and we have about 100 volunteers at the end of the phone.

"Very few of the calls are actually from people who are feeling suicidal. I would imagine only about five per cent. Most people are calling because of a broken relationship," said Jill.

"People also call us because they are suffering from horrendous debts and we hear from fathers who haven't seen their children - and conversely mothers left to look after children alone."

At one time more women than men turned to Samaritans in their moment of despair - but now that is changing.

"The gap is closing and the trend over the past five or six years has been for more men to call us.

"The group most at risk from suicide is young men so we are increasingly targeting our marketing at them," she said.

Samaritans is moving with the times and has recently trialled a new text message service for users.

But the traditional means of contact, at the end of the telephone line, remains the most used service.

Despite all the years of experience, Jill admitted it was tough coming to terms with a suicide.

"Every two minutes somebody contemplates suicide and every two hours somebody will take their own life.

"It's very distressing when you realise that a caller has killed themselves. It goes against the philosophy that many of us hold - and it is true that the majority of people who take their own lives have not contacted us," she said.

Volunteers like Jill are trained just to listen to the callers. They do not offer advice or get drawn in when the caller is angry and confrontational.

"It's quite passive really. We are literally there to listen and nothing more.

"One of the hardest parts of being a Samaritan is the lack of feedback. When you start training, they warn you not to expect any thank yous.

"From time to time you will pick up the phone and someone will be calling to say thank you but it is pretty rare," she said.

Jill explained that she decided to get involved due to a desire to give something back.

"You reach a stage in your life when everything is ok and you realise it would be nice to give something back.

"I had a close friend who was involved and I thought I would join her.

"I get such a lot from being a Samaritan," she said.

Many new recruits are often surprised to discover there are regular callers contacting the Samaritans.

"We have some people who have been calling us for quite literally years.

"We are not allowed to put the phone down on someone but we have to be careful not to become an emotional crutch for someone.

"It's not good for someone to be calling us every day so we try to encourage them to call less for their sake," she said.

Samaritans in Southampton is always keen to enlist more volunteers and a former teacher, Jill would encourage anyone with a listening ear to apply.

"Personally being a Samaritan has enabled me to learn so much more about myself and about life in general.

"It has really opened my eyes," she said.

For more details about joining the Samaritans call 023 8063 2888.