JILL Valentine strides confidently into the police station where she works and shoots dead three zombies.
"You have to shoot them in the head," she quips.
I was wondering whether I could be next in the queue for a bullet.
The highly-successful computer game that spawned an average film has returned for a second bite of the box office.
And, as per usual, they should have stopped at one.
After another zombie outbreak at the top-secret Umbrella facility, the executives of said institution become hell-bent on covering up their mistakes.
While the undead make the most of the "all-you-can-eat" buffet, in the form of the residents of Racoon City, Alice (Milla Jovovich) tries to rescue a little girl and escape the carnage.
However, she hasn't reckoned on Umbrella's nuclear bomb solution to the outbreak, or its new project - "Nemesis".
The problems with this film lie not with the action, which is always entertaining and, at times, enthralling.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse is let down by the complete randomness and detachment that surround these nuggets of violence.
For example, Alice stumbles out of the Umbrella facility after enduring tests for God knows how long, barely able to walk.
We then see her 10 minutes later as she bursts through the window of a church on a Harley Davidson to help three people she has never met kill a few nasty-looking creatures.
It's all completely implausible.
The group she protects contains Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory), who is by far the worst actor in the film.
She plays the stereotypical rebel cop who just loves firing her gun at anything that moves. Dressed like she's recently entered a Lara Croft look-a-like competition - and finished last - Guillory's over-acting merely serves to heighten the absurdity even more.
Jovovich is passable as the heroine, but the audience is never let into her plight long enough to register any real sympathy for her character.
Therefore, the film ends up as a mish-mash of gun fights with zombies and Nemesis - just think Robocop who's spent way too long on a sunbed.
The only moaning and shuffling you will hear in the cinema will be the audience heading for the exit.
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