Southampton's Buddhist community is looking for a new home to cope with their expanding numbers. KATE THOMPSON went to find out more...

AWAY from the bustle of the city centre is a real oasis of calm - a place where increasing numbers of stressed-out execs are to be found searching for the ultimate gift - the meaning of life.

Meditation has been growing in popularity as a means of dealing with lives spent constantly in the fast lane of a high speed, hi-tech world.

Taking time out to think mellow thoughts and to breathe properly is great for your equilibrium - and with a little practise it can help you deal with all the little problems life likes to throw at us, say the experts.

Instead of biting the head off everyone who comes within a mile, you can learn to become patient with your fellow man - and that jealous streak can be transformed into a deep and abiding love.

It may sound like a clich but the moment you walk through the door of the Thekchen Centre in Whitworth Crescent, you can sense the calm.

There are smiling faces all around and voices that resonate with love and peace.

At the heart of all the positive vibes and goodwill is the beautiful presence of Thogme - the nun who leads the meditation classes.

If ever there was an advert for clean living, Thogme is that person.

As part of her ordination she has turned her back on sex, stimulants such as alcohol and cigarettes as well as meat.

She's 31 but looks half that age.

She positively oozes happiness and joy - and she has a complexion to die for.

Thogme became a Buddhist while studying at university. She had friends who were drawn to the faith and bit by bit she followed their lead.

"I used to get so stressed out and worried about things. I was living in a shared house and doing exams and feeling really awful.

"And I looked at my friends and they were just so calm about everything. The big turning point for me was when I was taking my finals and I felt so anxious and nervous.

"But I saw my friend was sitting under a tree in the classic meditation posture - that was the difference between us.

"It was then I decided to find out if Buddhism could help even someone like me," she said.

That was ten years ago and Thogme has been teaching at the centre in her home city for the past five years.

"I studied English and American literature at university and I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with my future - I suppose I thought I would move into something creative and fun.

"But I had no fixed idea about what was next for me.

"A year later I was ordained - it was a big decision that would affect the rest of my life but I had decided to take the spiritual path.

"I took five vows - saying I would not kill, steal, lie, take any intoxicating substances and I am celibate as well.

"People wonder about the sex thing - but I don't feel I've given anything up by choosing to focus on my spirituality.

"I would rather stay single and focus on running the centre as part of one big family," she said.

There are 12 residents at the centre. They pay rent to live there and help out as you would in any shared household.

"If there are any disagreements it is sorted out pretty quickly," she said.

Every Monday night meditation classes are held at the centre. More than 30 people regularly attend the sessions - probably in the hope that they too can be as serene as Thogme.

Linda, 41, works for the NHS and wanted to meditate to help her cope with the stress of her job. She was visiting the Thekchen Centre for the first time.

"I tried to learn how to meditate from a book I bought but I couldn't really concentrate.

"I've got an aggressive personality that gets worse when I'm stressed - I want to learn to calm down," she said.

Nikki Wiles, 32, and Anna Griffiths, 34, have both been meditating for the past three years.

Anna said the relaxation technique was excellent for dealing with day-to-day stresses.

"I find it easier to deal with problems and relax - my family think I am a bit of a weirdo because I come here but it has really helped me," she said.

Nikki added: "It stops you getting road rage - I used to worry about things all the time but I don't now."

A year ago Palgye - or Glorious One - was an engineer aircraft fitter called John. Like many of us his life revolved around earning money to pay his mortgage and sharing the consumerism dream.

"I travelled around with my job earning money. I had all these things but I still wasn't happy.

"I used to go to the pub religiously," he joked. "I lived life to the full but I had a few knocks and I found out about meditation as a way of trying to sort out my problems.

"I started coming to classes here and gradually became more involved.

"I was ordained a year ago and became a priest - I really enjoy living here. There is always something going on.

"I've rented out my house and the money I get from that helps me pay to live here," he said.