ERNIE Howe considered whether to carry on as manager of Basingstoke Town in the aftermath of the club's FA Trophy exit.
Saturday's 3-1 defeat at lower-league King's Lynn left Howe crestfallen and extremely disappointed.
It pained him to the extent he questioned whether it was time he stepped aside after 11 years in charge at the Camrose and put his family first instead.
Speaking to The Gazette on Tuesday, Howe admitted: "I sat down with my wife Margot at the weekend and we discussed our future.
"It came to the point where I had to. I normally have this conversation with her once a year, but this season it's happened three times because of certain very disappointing results.
"There have been many times in the past when I've put this club before Margot and our family. Perhaps it's time to change that. We have our future to consider as well as that of the club."
Howe has since acknowledged he was being so forthright because his deep frustration with the Blues' display was still so raw. He has devoted his weekly column on the Talk of the Town page to clarifying his feelings since the weekend.
On Wednesday, the 50-year-old ex-Fulham and QPR defender told The Gazette that he is fully committed to staying and ensuring the club reach the new Conference South.
Yet Howe is still very hurt by the way he and assistant manager Pete Peters were let down by their players in Norfolk.
The manager felt his side had enough ability to contain and beat their Dr Martens eastern division opponents.
Howe explained: "We put a lot of preparation into this game. We watched them three times and, although we knew they were a good side, we felt confident.
"We also had two good training sessions last week, but our lads didn't show up on the day.
"They have let the club down. Pete and I are fed up of putting in the effort we do only to have to rely on people who let us down."
If Town had beaten King's Lynn, the reward from Monday's fourth round draw would have been a money-spinning home clash with Exeter.
Instead, mirroring the circumstances which followed the FA Cup exit at Bracknell - where victory would have ensured a home tie against Barnet - Town have again missed out financially.
Howe said: "That's two situations now this season where the club has lost the chance to earn money we desperately need."
He added his players were fully aware of his disappointment but he was still planning to have a frank discussion with them.
In their forum, due to take place at last night's training session, Howe said he would question the heart of his players and their motivation to play for Town.
He said: "I'm not happy with our results and the performances being put in. It's worrying and I'm questioning certain individuals and their motivation.
"When I played, I gave everything on the pitch. I may have had my limitations, but I was determined my opponents would not get the better of me.
"If that meant kicking them, I did it. But our players don't seem to have the motivation to give it their all. It's very frustrating."
Howe added: "A few players' minds are elsewhere. Some who are on contracts are not doing enough, and others are looking towards the end of the season.
"I do feel that having players on contracts is no help to a club nowadays, unless the player is an exceptional youngster.
"If players are on contracts it gives them too much power to behave as they wish. They're laughing really."
Howe continued: "The players have got me because they know I'm not really in a position to bring anyone else in. I have to let two go to bring in one."
Harrow Borough, next to bottom in the Ryman premier division, visit the Camrose tomorrow for a 3pm kick-off.
With just three months to go, the league campaign has reached a critical stage. Howe knows Town need to re-focus and re-double their efforts if their season is not to tail off into mediocrity.
He said: "There's the added incentive this year with the non-League restructuring. Like everyone, we've got to make sure we're in the new Conference South. It will only happen if we get our heads down and graft."
Are you a Basingstoke Town fan with a view on Ernie Howe's comments? Write to The Letters Editor, Gazette Newspapers, Gazette House, Pelton Road, Basingstoke, RG21 6YD or e-mail editor@basingstokegazette.co.uk
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