There's no greater motivation to write a decent report on a club than being threatened by a hard man who borrows his name from a fairy!

After Marchwood Rangers' recent match had ended and the dust had settled, Marchwood first aid supremo Mark 'Tinkerbell' Thacker pointed his finger menacingly at me and uttered the threat: "I want to see a good write-up, or YOU'LL be in trouble!"

As psychology goes, I find that intimidation is quite an incentive to shine a positive light on a club. Even though I took the comments to be tongue-in-cheek, I'm still going to do my best not to displease the great big fairy.

The game I watched was between Rangers and Hythe Hotspurs under-11s.

It was a cracking match deserving of this sunny autumn morning - it really was!

The most exciting moment of the action for me personally was when I discovered that Hythe Hotspurs were fielding a player called Jack Mitchell!

Having found as many exact namesakes in my life as duck-billed platypuses, it was quite a thrill for me. Although my allegiance for the day was with the home team, I secretly hoped that young Jack would grab a hat-trick!

Just as I was picturing the headlines, however, I was jolted back to reality by a goal. . .no, make that two goals. Adie Stride and now Matthew Petty had just given Rangers a 2-0 lead.

Continuing my conversation with club chairman Martin Oldham, I found that the side we were watching had been a pillar of inconsistency so far, but they at least made for interesting viewing, with 16 goals coming in their two matches to date.

"We lost our first league game 4-2, then made it hard for ourselves but won 6-4 after extra time in the Tyro Cup," said Oldham, whose son Stephen is the team's goalkeeper. "It's been hard for this team, because they haven't had a vast amount of experience at 11-a-side. They just need a bit of confidence and a couple of wins, and they'll put in some good performances."

Even if this team wins nothing else this season, they must be the favourites for some silverware at least. Both EDMSL teams that fed into this under-11 set-up won their respective fair play awards last season, a fact that Oldham was keen to point out.

"We want to win, but also to have a good time," he said, "so it's very important for us as a club to win the fair play awards."

At the half-time break, Marchwood boss Steve Petty introduced Sophie Gale, a product of the Southampton School of Excellence. The chairman was full of praise for both individuals.

"Sophie's a good little player," he noted. "She tackles as hard as any of the boys! As for Steve, he's very encouraging, and he never has a bad word to say. Football takes up a lot of his time - I don't know how he does it."

As we were speaking, Spurs grabbed a goal back, but alas, it wasn't my mate Jack who got it, but Daniel Hockley.

Soon after, a Marchwood player went down injured. Water-man Mark Thacker raced on to the pitch to the youngster's aid, but returned a moment later, apparently not best pleased at having had to trek the width of the pitch and back.

"I told him to stop crying and shut up, or I'd give him something to cry about!" fumed Tinkerbell. He WAS jesting.

Thacker, in fact, is widely regarded as one of Hampshire football's finest first aid men - as long as the required treatment doesn't stretch beyond a spray from his water bottle!

At this stage in the tie, the hosts began to pull away. Josh Thacker, who, unlike his father, is no fairy, made it 3-1 before Ben Bartram added the fourth and Jack Mitchell agonisingly (for me as well as him) hit a post for Hythe.

Bartram doubled his tally for the day before Thacker rounded off the scoring with the goal of the morning, finishing off a flowing move involving Gale and Bartram.

All that was left, then, was for me to grab a brief word with victorious manager Steve Petty, who is looking forward to the rest of the season - providing he's still in the job.

"I'm going to keep managing this team until I get sacked," he laughed, with a nervous glance at his chairman. "I'm very pleased so far. We're playing the good two-touch football that we've practised in training."

Petty's key aim this year is to cause a few Tyro upsets, as well as securing a high placing in the table.

"We're hoping to pull off some shock results," he forecast. "It's a tough division, but I want to be the team that people don't want to meet. We're looking towards third or fourth position."

If anyone out there thinks their Tyro club deserves to be featured in a forthcoming Mudlark, get in touch with me at mitchell_saints@hotmail.com and tell me why.