Challenge of a lifetime

As Adam Dowinton watches a Winnie the Pooh video he giggles at the antics of Tigger and Eeyore like any other three-year-old.

But for Adam, growing up will be vastly different from other children. A normal childhood, full of imaginary play and social interaction with other children, is going to be impossible.

Adam suffers from autism, which was only officially diagnosed in January. For single parent Emma, bringing up Adam will be the most difficult challenge she will ever face.

"I had niggling worries about Adam when he was a toddler," said Emma, 34, from Kings Worthy near Win-chester.

"He was slow learning to walk and he couldn't talk. Also he was very limited in what he would eat.

"As he was my first child, I think a lot of people thought I was overreacting. Things came to a head when he was two and I took him on a flight to Florida to visit a friend.

"From the start he was very difficult and was upset by the plane. Then we went to a restaurant and he wouldn't sit at the table and he wouldn't go into a swimming pool. He was also totally uncommunicative.

"My friend told me not to worry and that in a few months words would be pouring out of his mouth.

"I thought to myself 'I don't think they will'. I knew there was something seriously wrong with Adam.

"I read about autism in a childcare book and I thought it was so much like Adam. I told my health visitor about my concerns and she referred Adam to a speech therapist.

"The speech therapist said Adam's problems were much greater than speech alone and he was referred to Meadcroft Opportunity Centre in Winchester.

"Through them, Adam started at nursery and I was provided with advice from an occupational therapist. Early diagnosis of children with autism isn't possible because they may grow out of certain behaviour patterns or their learning may suddenly accelerate. Adam wasn't diagnosed by a paediatrician until this year.

"Although I had prepared myself for a diagnosis of autism, when I got the official diagnosis I was overwhelmed by it. To be told that your child has a complex disorder that you know very little about is heartbreaking. At first I couldn't talk about it without crying.

"But I came to terms with it as he was still the same little boy that I had given birth to.

"At first I thought they would be able to solve his behavioural difficulties and get him to be able to talk.

"My expectations of what they could achieve with him were very high.

"It took a long time for me to grasp that this was a lifelong disorder that he would never recover from.

"Now I understand the condition I feel more at ease."

The difficulties that Adam has are many and varied. Emma said: "He does say some words, such as 'hello darling' which he mimics from me and he will say 'hello daddy' when my ex-husband phones.

"His eating patterns are very ritualistic. When he eats toast it has to be without the crusts and cubed, like when I gave it to him as a baby.

"If I serve him a slice of toast, he can't associate it as being the same thing. He will never eat new foods and is still on jars of baby food, of those there is only one sort he will eat - an organic fruity chicken. He has it for dinner every day. I try to bulk it out with mashed potato, but I have to be careful not to put too much in or he will notice and won't eat it. His sleep pattern is unsettled like most children with autism. He has no concept that if he wakes in the middle of the night that he should try to sleep again.

"He enjoys toys in a very different way to other children. He does not indulge in imaginative play. He does enjoy his children's videos and will rewind his favourite bits to watch over and over again.

"He is very affectionate with me but he used to physically put strangers out of the house.

"All the time he is improving but I can't ever take things for granted, as things can so easily deteriorate.

"At the moment he can differentiate between 'milk' and 'juice' and knows what he is asking for. But I don't know how long he will continue doing this as this skill could easily vanish."

Being a single parent family with a child with autism has not always been easy for Emma.

She said: "It can be very isolating as I can't take him to normal children's activities as he will freak out or become disruptive. I have to think carefully about where I can take him.

"I see other people tutting and staring in the supermarket when he is throwing a tantrum. Fortunately my family and friends have been very supportive.

"Finding out about the Hampshire Autistic Society has helped tremendously as the support I need is always on hand. My main pieces of advice for parents who have just had a child diagnosed with autism is to give yourself time to come to terms with it.

"Also to remember that they are still the same child that you gave birth to."