Conversation, not just talk

"There are complex rules that enable us to hold effective conversations," she explained.

"Reading facial and body expressions, taking turns and adapting the style to each new situation and person is essential.

"Children who have not learned these skills can have problems making friends and behaving at school and in social situations."

Sioban, who lives in Teg Down Meads, Winchester, qualified as a speech and language therapist in 1978 and worked in the NHS for 18 years.

She became convinced that the reason some children were under-achieving despite scoring highly on verbal tests and use of grammar was because they had poorly-developed non-verbal skills.

"My dearest wish is to be asked to teach midwives the importance of a new baby seeing faces close-to in the first 24 hours. Nearly 90% of non-verbal communication skills are learned in the first six months of life," she explained.

While children without this experience can often cope in playgroups and primary school, there may be concerns about attention span and disruptive behaviour.

At secondary school, where the pupil must adjust to a new subject, room and teacher every hour, the problems become more serious. Overwhelmingly, it is boys who have these difficulties.

Stephen is in Year 11. He changed schools in Year 9 because he was being bullied and felt excluded by his peers - but he still failed to make friends or achieve his academic potential.

His parents were anxious to sort out his problems before he started at college and an educational psychologist recommended Sioban.

"She gave me pictures of situations and asked me what I saw," explained Stephen. "For example, people were sitting at a table for dinner with one empty space. I had to say what was happening. Sioban taught me to read situations."

She noted that he was not making eye contact and missed visual clues from expression and body language and also picked up that he had a slight lisp and gave him a straw to practise keeping the tongue away from the teeth.

"Steven saw Sioban for a 30-minute session for six weeks and he is now more confident, willing to participate and can verbalise his thoughts and ideas," said his mother, Penny, who considers the outlay of £250 to £300 to be money well-spent.

"Above all he is happier. There has been a transformation."

Stephen is moving on to take A-levels at college, determined to use the strategies to overcome his communication disorder.

"I am very grateful to Sioban. I think I will always be quiet and shy, but that does not mean I have no ability," he said.

Sioban said she was delighted that Stephen was confident enough to talk to a reporter about his progress.

She has helped many other non-verbal or severely autistic children.

Alex (7) was diagnosed as autistic before he was three. He is non-verbal and has a special-needs assistant to help him at his mainstream primary school.

He has special equipment he can use to communicate but now Sioban is teaching him the British Deaf Signing Language, which he loves.

His mother, Cathy, who teaches at the school, said: "He loves this new skill which he can use at any time without the need for his equipment.

"I'm learning as well and it is hard to keep up with him."

Sign language is not used in place of speech, but in addition to it - so Cathy speaks at the same time as she signs to reinforce the vocabulary.

Sioban has led training sessions with the teaching and learning support staff at Alex's school and also worked with other groups of education and health professionals.

"I want to pass on my theories and experience before I retire," said Sioban.

"I plan to write a book and a website - www.notjusttalking.co.uk - has been set up by a parent of another child I have helped. I hope this will disseminate my ideas and encourage other therapists to try my methods."