Havant & Waterlooville co-manager Mick Jenkins reckons indiscipline cost his side their chance of a place in the FA Trophy final at Villa Park next month.
The sending-off of former Nottingham Forest and Swindon midfielder Bobby Howe seven minutes into extra time proved the turning point as favourites Tamworth bounced back to level 1-1 on the day and so win 2-1 on aggregate in front of a 1,331 crowd at Westleigh Park.
As Howe trudged back to the dressing room, the ten-man Hawks were to be punished for his sins 14 minutes later when former Derby County striker Scott Rickards, who had given the Lambs a slender 1-0 lead to bring to the south coast, plunged the final dagger into Havant hearts.
Howe's offence of foul and abusive language was aimed at the linesman who had somehow missed Tamworth 'keeper Darren Acton clearly handling outside his area as he raced to gather a weak back header from defender Dave Robinson.
A player of Howe's vast experience should have known better than to argue but Havant's Woolston-based striker James Taylor, whose 42nd-minute goal had clawed the Hawks back into the tie on aggregate, believes his team had grounds for feeling hard done by.
He said: "Bobby had to be sent off for what he'd done, but it should never have come to that. The officials made a right mess-up. The 'keeper came two yards outside his area. All the Tamworth players knew it and how the linesman missed it, I don't know. He had nothing restricting his view."
With Taylor's Southampton travelling companion Neil Davis ruled out of the second leg by suspension following a spitting incident against Cambridge, Jenkins has had his fill of disciplinary problems of late.
He said: "Bobby Howe has been told by Liam (co-manager Liam Daish) and myself that we're not very happy.
"He's been around a fair bit and you've got to be disappointed with his lack of professionalism.
"You've only got to look at our disciplinary record to see how damaging it's been. Neil Davis was sent off cheaply and now a cheap sending off for Bobby Howe has cost us."
Although Havant's more adventurous line-up fought Tamworth every inch of the way, Darren Gee's Dr Martens Premier Division leaders looked the more threatening outfit over the two legs and fully deserve their place in the final.
The inclusion of former Pompey and Cherries midfielder Paul Wood and ex-Tamworth goal-getter Warren Haughton signalled Hawks' attacking intent, but it never quite clicked in the way their joint managers had envisaged.
Jenkins summed up: "We weren't clinical enough or brave enough on the ball. We've given it a right good crack against probably the best team in the league, but we gave Tamworth too much respect in the first half.
"Chances like this don't come around too often and the players were devastated in the dressing room afterwards. There are a lot of chins to be picked up."
Daish agreed: "There were some good performances but you need 11 strong players on an occasion like this and we were carrying a few."
Former Saints Academy left-back Brett Poate didn't need telling that his performance was not up to scratch.
Although the 19-year-old supplied the pass from which Taylor outfoxed Robinson and drilled a right-foot shot into the far corner to level the tie on aggregate, he confessed, somewhat harshly: "That was the only good ball I played all game. We all know we didn't play as well as we could have and I think it was a fair result in the end.
"A few of our players - myself included - didn't perform. Going down to ten men made it hard and probably cost us, but you can't just blame Bobby Howe. We must all take the blame for not performing on the day."
Taylor's goal had followed a torrent of Tamworth pressure which was to intensify after the break.
Even so, Hawks could have gone 2-0 up with a close-range Timmy Hambley header before their woodwork took a double pounding.
First Mark Hallam's glancing header clattered the foot of the far upright on 63 minutes and then 'keeper Aaron Kerr managed to tip Steve Evans's diving header onto the crossbar, the rebound going wide as Evans and Rickards went for the same ball.
Tamworth substitute Mark Turner drilled another golden chance wide in the 87th minute but, either side of that, the Hawks could have snatched a ticket to the promised land of Birmingham on May 18.
Acton got down smartly to save a left-foot effort from Taylor and Haughton miserably miscued with an attempted lob in stoppage time.
The compelling drama continued into an extra half-hour and it was cruel that Tamworth's winner should result from a poor clearance by the otherwise faultless Alec Masson which was charged down by Rickards and clinically slotted home.
Two minutes later, the teams were level again numerically when Lambs' Rob Warner was red-carded for kicking out at Taylor.
A Poate free-kick was deflected just over in the dying minutes and 'keeper Kerr was one of the many Hawks who went up for the corner - but all to no avail.
Tamworth boss Gee felt justice had been done, saying: "It would have been a travesty if we hadn't gone through. I feel for Havant though. They put on a great game."
Havant & Waterlooville 1 - Tamworth 1, Tamworth win 2-1 on aggregate
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