A Somali woman who has made a new life in Southampton has lived with the heartbreak of leaving her two children behind two and a half years ago. Selima tells KATE THOMPSON how she cannot wait to be reunited with her youngsters...

LEAVING her two young sons behind as she left Somalia to make a new life for herself was the hardest thing Selima, 27, has ever done.

Every day since their separation began two and a half years ago, Selima has felt the pain of missing Hasan, six, and Hussen, four.

"Every time I close my eyes I see them - it's so painful.

"People think it is easy to come here and live but it is so difficult when you are leaving behind everything you love," she said.

To make matters worse, Selima has been working as an interpreter with young children.

"That has been the hardest part. I have been working with children who are the same age as my children.

"It's like having something eating away at you," she said.

Thinking back to when she first arrived in this country, Selima admitted she was on the brink of despair.

"When I arrived here, it was like being dropped in the ocean. I couldn't bear to live without my children.

"I got very depressed and tried to kill myself.

"Whenever I see another mum bringing her children to school, I smile but I am empty inside because I have lost my own children," she said.

She will spend Christmas without her beloved youngsters. But the New Year will bring her joy, as her sons will soon be able to join her in Southampton.

"I don't know when exactly I will see them.

"But now I have been accepted to stay in this country, I know I will see them again.

"When I was given indefinite leave to remain in this country it was like somebody had set me free."

Selima had to leave her sons with her mother, Xadiya. She has only just managed to contact her mother through a family-tracing service and has spoken to her children again.

Somalia has been torn apart by a civil conflict that has seen former friends and neighbours set up against each other.

Selima was frightened for her safety after witnessing terrible atrocities but she could not risk making her children leave the country with her.

"In a conflict like this the women are more at risk of being killed, raped or pushed around.

"My aunt was raped in front of me. That was the kind of thing I was waiting to happen to me," she said.

Fearing for her life, Selima, who is separated from her husband, made a three-day journey by lorry out of her country to the relative safety of Kenya.

She didn't eat during the perilous journey - and only truly felt safe when she arrived in this country.

"I knew about England from watching BBC London, which is broadcast in our own language. We used to watch it every afternoon.

"I came here because it was a safe place," she said.

She has lived in the city centre for a year and a half and during that time she has learnt to speak English.

"I love being in the city. It is peaceful and I have made a lot of friends.

"I have found Southampton a very welcoming place. I like the fact there are lots of cultures here.

"I did not speak English before I came here to live but now I can.

"I will stay living in Southampton and continue to work with refugees coming to the city," she said.

A report by Refugee Action has highlighted the fact that refugee women in the UK feel isolated and lonely.

Kathy Brogan, Refugee Action's Asylum Advice Manager in Southampton said: "Refugee women arriving in Southampton and Portsmouth have had their lives ripped apart. They are courageous, brave women who have fled violence and persecution and should be made to feel safe and welcome in the UK.

"Yet refugee women are facing isolation, harassment and abuse. They often struggle to get their basic needs like healthcare met. We are urging people across the region to listen to refugee women's voices and join us in standing up for their safety."

The charity is calling on voluntary, statutory and private service providers to agree to minimum standards of safety for refugee women. Refugee Action is also urging the Home Office to consider the impact on women of the new Nationality, Immigration and Asylum Act 2002.

Campaigner Anita Roddick is backing the rights of refugee women. She said: "Many of these women have been to hell and back escaping their countries of origin. It is shameful they should be so marginalised here in Britain.

"Access to health, housing and education are basic human rights - let's start treating them as such."