MUTILATED and unattractive - that's how many women see themselves after this kind of operation. The most nerve-racking thing is looking at yourself for the first time after the surgery. I couldn't bring myself to look at my body for some time.

This is how Doreen Randall felt after losing her left breast to cancer and having a large part of her right breast removed.

Doreen, of Woolston, Southampton, discovered lumps in both breasts when she was 51. Within three weeks, she had a mastectomy on her left breast and a lumpectomy on her right.

Fifteen years on, she has the all-clear, enjoys a normal life and devotes a lot of her time to working as a breast cancer care volunteer, talking to women in Southampton who have undergone breast surgery.

"Whether it removes all your breast or only part of it, breast surgery can be a deeply traumatic experience," said Doreen. "The year before I lost my breast, I'd had a hysterectomy and so it felt like I was losing another part of my womanhood. Doreen went through a range of emotions: depression, guilt and fear, especially just before the operation.

"I was terribly scared that I would-n't recover, but the day after the operation I felt such a tremendous sense of relief. To think it was done and the cancer was cut out left me feeling free again to live. I've gone 15 years with no problems and to be honest, I don't even think about the fact I don't have a breast now."

Doreen admits that it hasn't always been as easy coping with the effects of her surgery.

"I couldn't bring myself to look at my body for some time, but my GP was a wonderful help. When he came to visit me, he raved about what a beautiful job the surgeons had done. To him it was like a piece of art, which in a strange way made me feel far better about myself."

Unlike Sally Taylor, Doreen didn't opt for reconstructive surgery.

"I decided not to go through that as I'd had lot of lymph glands removed from under both arms, which is quite painful. I didn't want to go through any more discomfort, but looking back now I sometimes wish I had. But at 51, I'd had my family and didn't think I needed it."

She now wears a prosthesis, a foam artificial breast that slips inside a normal bra.

"When I first had the surgery, I thought I wouldn't be able to wear certain clothes, but I can wear any-thing," added Doreen. " Many clothes shops can help with advice on fittings for women with mastectomys, even for a swimsuit."

Doreen puts a lot of her recovery down to the support of her two daughters, two stepsons and husband. She said: "Having a loving family around you when you are going through this kind of frightening experience makes all the difference.

"You can't help but worry that the cancer might spread not only in yourself but in your children too as it can be hereditary.

"Both my daughters check themselves very regularly for any signs of lumps. And as far as my health is concerned, I feel on top of the world now and intend to stay just there."

In her role as a breast cancer care volunteer, Doreen has also seen the benefits that talking about the surgery can achieve. "Whether it's before, during or after the surgery, I think the more you talk about it, the more you get through it," she said.

"I was so shocked to hear about Sally Taylor. Watching her out with her dog on TV the other week, you would never have dreamt she had all that worry at the back of her mind.

"Knowing of Sally and the way she is on television, I'm sure she is going to get through this. She has the right, determined attitude. And if she needs a sympathetic ear that knows what she is going through, there's one here for her."

Converted for the new archive on 25 January 2001. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.