JANE and Pete approached the Cabrini Children’s Society about fostering after their four daughters had left home.

Foster carers come from many walks of life, as well as being almost always experienced parents.

Jane and Peter are no exception.

She was an experienced special needs teacher who enjoyed working with children with difficult behaviour.

They felt they had skills, experience and the energy for more parenting.

They attended a society open day and decided that long-term foster care was what they would like to do.

Having been through the assessment, preparation and approval process, they waited almost a year before Jay was placed with them.

Pete explains: “It did seem like a long time to wait.

“But we now realise that there is care given to matching the right child with the right family.

“Although our girls have left home they constantly visit and the house is always buzzing with friends and music, and lots of people around at meal times.

“Obviously this would not suit a very shy and withdrawn child.”

Jay had been taken into care when he was eight years old due to his mother’s poor mental health.

He had not settled well with his previous foster carers, and by the time he came to Jane and Pete he was angry and confused.

Jane says: “Having had four girls we had not had a lot of experience of dealing with aggression and anger, and it was a bit of a shock.

“As we got to know him better we realised that he had not been able to piece together all the things that had happened to him.

“We took it slowly but over time he has started to understand the reasons.

“The other important thing has been to learn how to be part of a family.

“Things that seem commonplace just had not been there for him.

“The first two years have been like a relearning programme.

“Luckily for us, when things get tough we always have Tracey, our society social worker, to lean on.

“She supports us, gives advice and reminds us of how Jay has developed.

“When we think about what we are doing we conclude that we are not miracle workers.

“You have to be realistic about what you can achieve.

“But if all we do is to help someone to go on to manage their own life and feel loved and cared for, that’s enough.

● For more information about becoming a foster carer, contact Cabrini Children’s Society, 7 Bridge Street, Winchester, SO23 0HN, telephone 01962 842024 or email fostering@cabrini.org.uk. You can also look at the Cabrini Children’s Society website at cabrini.org.uk.