SOME TIME ago I was given a book called A List of Things to Do Before You Die.

I thumbed through it wistfully thinking what an interesting person I would be if completed the tasks required.

Over the next few years I could find myself leaping out of planes, teasing tarantulas and completing famous pub crawls.

I knew completing the extensive list was impossible, but I wanted to make enough of a dent that, should a visitor to my home leaf through it, my life would look slightly eventful.

This is what led to me going skinny-dipping, although with my unhealthy lifestyle and swelling body I feel I may be stretching the term to its limits of credibility.

I should point out to any alarmed beachcombers that this abhorrence did not take place at Weston Shore but in the crystal clear Mediterranean waters off the coast of Croatia after I inadvertently wandered onto a naturist part of the beach.

I had always dreamed that if I took part in dipping of any kind I would be joined by hot student fitties like the ones in teen horror films that are later eaten by giant crocodiles.

As such, it was with some trepidation that I entered the sea with two other men.

My first instinct was to leave them to their homoerotic frolicking – then with a shudder I remembered my list.

This decision was also influenced by the arrival of two women who were shedding clothes at the shoreline.

I furtively put a toe in the water to check it was warm, as I wanted to ensure shrinkage would not be an issue.

I hurriedly paddled out to deeper water to cover my shame and quickly realised my swimming was no longer as strong as it was when I was a fresh-faced 18-year-old.

“You need to relax so you float,” a friend said, as I wildly kicked and spluttered.

Heeding his advice, I lay perfectly still and swiftly sank to the sea bed.

Coughing up water, I clambered on to some nearby rocks, hoping no children wandered into the resort. At a cursory glance, they might think the Little Mermaid had really let herself go. One of my fellow swimmers than squealed and said something had bitten his foot.

I headed to shore.

If there was a fish with teeth that felt it could take on a toe I needed the security that only comes with full coverage.