“We met in winter, and we fell in love…”

This boastful lyric sums up one of the problems with Christmas.

It is fast becoming a holiday for smug couples and families.

I never used to feel like this and remember in my youth I was glad to be single during the mistletoe season.

However, at the ripe old age of 32 many of my friends have settled down or gotten married.

Also what I look for in a good night out has changed to the extent when offered an invitation to go clubbing I find myself hoping the evening will find me surrounded by dead seals as opposed getting splashed with weak lager at a trendy nightspot.

My idea of a good night out drinking is being with a few friends in a nice, dank pub where I don’t have to meet anyone new.

I certainly won’t be putting any social feelers out there and I’m deeply suspicious of anyone trying to ingratiate themselves into one of my social groups.

But perhaps I am being too cynical? After all, to some people Christmas is about helping those less fortunate.

With this in mind I would like to wish a merry Christmas to two of my biggest fans who go by moniker of Spitting Fire and Mr Harsh and they spend most of their lives logged on to the Echo website hungrily waiting my the next column entry.

I was alerted to their comments by a new flame last week and, admittedly, on a first reading I foolishly took their criticisms at face value.

In my ignorance I thought of them like the annoying hecklers who pay to see their favourite comedian and yell out “get off, you’re rubbish” then smugly nudge each other and say “told ‘im didn’t I, I told ‘im.”

However, after I read their ill-informed ravings on a variety of subjects my opinion softened and I realised I had misjudged them and their actions were more similar to an unattractive, emotionally immature child trying to flirt with someone way out of their league.

Some of my friends leapt to the odd conclusion that awarding yourself an overtly macho nickname was a sign of latent insecurity.

Not me, however. So I would like to tip my hat and wish season’s greetings to these fellows who I am sure are tough talking success stories.