ALL they wanted was to baptise their fourth child in the same church where they were married 15 years ago.
Tony and Melissa Stacey have already had their first three children – Jack, Bradley and Rebecca – baptised at St Mary’s Church in Sholing, Southampton.
But when they inquired about a service for three-month-old Emma, they were told they had to follow strict guidelines and rules if they wanted it to go ahead.
The couple, who live in Sholing, were asked to take part in meetings, attend church services indefinitely and get involved with the wider church community before a baptism would be considered.
They approached a second church, Holy Trinity in Weston, but were told the same thing.
Leaders of both churches have defended their policies saying they help parents fulfil the promises they make at a baptism service.
Tony, a 38 year-old communications manager said: “The local churches have unilaterally decided to make their own decision on who is worthy of being christened due to how many Sundays you attend their church.
“These are not the official rules of baptism. A christening is about belonging to God, not belonging to a certain church and those who attend it.”
Tony and Melissa now plan to hold a naming ceremony for Emma, the baptism equivalent of a civil wedding.
St Mary’s Church, in St Monica Road, says that for the past few years it has asked parents to take part in a more active part in the church to help them fulfil the promises made in baptism.
The Rev Greg Bakker said: “Baptism is about belonging. Parents who have their children christened make a promise about belonging and to raise their children within the church community.
“I can see why this upsets some people but we have found that 80 per cent of people who have had their child christened at our church remain active in the church community afterwards.”
The Rev Richard Burningham, from Holy Trinity Church in Weston Lane, added: “We only ask that people come for a couple of weeks so they can see the church and make sure they are happy with us.
“It is our strong conviction that when folk who we don't know come and ask for baptism it is our duty to them and to God to help them make that considered declaration of faith and decision.”
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