Jacqui Baker tells her story of being single at 57 ahead of Valentine's Day.
Here I am, 57 years old, single and fast approaching Valentine’s Day.
It’s impossible to turn on the TV or walk into a shop without being bombarded with heart-shaped displays, images of couples – everything and anything has a Valentine’s theme. Are you finding it as overwhelming as me?
Remember the simplicity of Valentine’s Day as a teenager? The giddy excitement of wondering if you’d get a card left in your locker or desk, and opening it to find it signed with a question mark from your mystery admirer?
I would be in a constant state of nervous anticipation for days before the big day - more so at the thought of not getting a card.
I’m not sure the millennials and generation Z participate in sending paper cards, but most importantly - dreaming up the romantic or not so romantic poems to write inside!
There is often a focus on single people today, and many websites and magazines suggest things like drinking a glass of wine or watching a movie. Hardly ground-breaking. I mean, as a single woman, I do those things on a weekly (daily) basis!
The worst part is being made to feel lonely by other people’s ill-placed sympathy. With their sad face and the ‘Oh no, you can’t be alone on Valentine’s Day’ nod. But it’s okay for me to be alone the rest of the year then?
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Do not despair. I decided to get myself some perspective here, and Valentine’s Day is just another day before the day after, and it’s on a Monday this year, so it doesn’t matter.
I am perfectly imperfect, and I do not need a partner to make me feel complete. I will not use this day to dwell on feelings or overthink past relationships and why I am single now.
On V-Day, I will buy myself a bottle of Champagne (Aldi), a box of Hotel Chocolat (small as pricey), have a long bath, and throw myself on the sofa in my knickers and T-shirt. Grab my champers and chocs and watch at least three episodes of Succession.
I mean, who needs a partner?
We can celebrate all forms of love, between friends, between family, between siblings, every day of the year, without the pressure of having to be with someone, to spend money or buy gifts that aren’t needed?
Wouldn’t that make the world a better place and make February 14 a bit more bearable for all of us?
Jacqui Baker runs Select Connections in Southampton.
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