NOW that we have the no smoking ban in pubs and public places we may see quite soon the same ban on cars in public places. Petrol stations would open up small areas nearby for motorists to play in - including traffic lights etc, and they could swear at each other freely.

We would all travel about on skateboards (issued free to the over seventies by the council, bless them). We would retain the traffic lights as well as the speed cameras which would bne modified to a new limit of 3mph.

We would all be so fit that surgeries would be almost empty. Doctors would spend most of their time on holiday in Bermuda and hospitals would send out men in white coats to pounce on anyone they think may have a headache or tummy upset!

Motorways would soon be full of weeds and grass and local farmers would be allowed to graze their sheep and cattle on them, consequently the price of beef and lamb would fall dramatically and the superstores would be giving it away!

P MALONE, Bittterne, Southampton